There is a song by Julia Michaels that includes the following lyrics: “They say, “All good boys go to heaven” But bad boys bring heaven to you. The song is titled “Heaven” and is played as the third and final single from the soundtrack to the film Fifty Shades Freed (2018).
I have found that 50% of the time, this is true. Wouldn’t it be though? Either the love interest is or is not a bad boy and is or is not capable of bringing heaven to you.
Here is what I am learning: Good boys are also fully capable of bringing heaven to you and I’m not talking strictly sexually, either.
I wasn’t really looking for someone for a relationship. I was looking for someone to talk to besides my kids. Adults need adult conversation. I utilized Facebook Dating and Hinge to surf through the sea of men seeking partners and/or friends. Some had potential, others not so much. I have a pretty good idea of what I am looking for and after the last relationship I definitely know what I DON’T want.
I’ve always had a thing for musicians, especially those with long hair. So when Chris’ profile popped up, I was immediately interested in him. His picture was of him playing a guitar on stage although he had short hair (that’s ok, too).
So I sent him a message.
He responded back.
It has now been six weeks since these first words were exchanged. Chris has a background and beliefs in Christianity which is completely fine with me. I consider myself a Christian Witch. Yeah, that’s a thing and an entry for another day. I have visited Chris’ apartment twice now and although we have made out and things got pretty steamy, we have not had sex. He has stated-and I agree-that it needs to be special. Even our first kiss was delayed for the same reason. So I have yet to experience true heaven with this man.
But heaven includes so many more aspects other than just sex.
Chris and I took the Love Languages quiz (https://www.5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/love-language) to determine how to best communicate with each other. His top language was “Quality time” while mine was “Words of affirmation”. He calls himself a “gold medal snuggler” and I have therefore dubbed myself a “silver medal snuggler”. So when we’re together, that is what we do no matter the location and I love it.
*I do recommend to you to take this quiz. It is very informative and accurate in my experience.
Chris consistently tells me how pretty I am, how much he likes me, I have great legs, I’m beautiful. He doesn’t say it frequently enough to be annoying or to cheapen the words. He genuinely means it. I genuinely soak it up!
Having a man take the initiative to immerse himself in my love language means so much to me. This is also a first time for me. All of the things I have needed to hear throughout my life and throughout different relationships is what this man tells me every day.
This is my definition of heaven and this man (or boy as Julia Michaels refers to them) has brought it to me.
‘How can this happen without sex’ you may ask? Well…let me tell you. Aside from hearing “Words of Affirmation” throughout the day, I hear plenty of “Thank yous”. Effort made on my part is noticed and appreciated by him. He wakes up early to send me a message wishing me a good day. We Facetime every night, sometimes more than once a day. He genuinely cares about me. He genuinely likes my full sized figure and still thinks I am beautiful! (This is new to me!!) He talks nicely to my daughter. He lovingly baby talks to his tortoises. He misses his children deeply (yet another story). He’s 100% transparent. He’s cautious. He’s paced.
I could keep going.
Heaven has many more dimensions aside from sex. While I am knee deep in puppy love, the facts stand for themselves. This man is a keeper.