Medication Overload

I expressed concerns to my doctor about possibly having ADD. Most of the time while I am reading, my brain jumps around to different topics until I catch myself. Then it does it again. My counselor said this could be ADD while my boyfriend says it’s normal. Is it though? If I have just become fully aware of it, how long has it gone on for? Who knows? So the doctor bumped my Wellbutrin up to 450 mg. The maximum recommended dosage is 300 mg. He said he felt safe doing this.

Right away I noticed that I wasn’t feeling tired during the day which was a huge improvement. It’s only been a week so I haven’t noticed any changes in concentration.

Yesterday I found myself bickering with my boyfriend. We’ve both been under stress lately (more than normal) thanks to an issue involving me being ripped off with a home improvement deal. That’s a whole different story in itself. Anyway, he called me an asshole. Have I been one? I had to think about this. I have been overly stressed for the last two months with the crescendo being this week. The timing for stress and medication couldn’t have been worse.

I can’t see into our future to determine if we will be together forever or not. That makes me think the latter. On top of that, I feel like I love him but am not in love with him. I question this constantly. Am I settling? There was little “puppy love” in the beginning and that has faded away in large due to his mental health issues. Aren’t we a cute couple :/

After some deep thinking I came to the agreement that the medication was making me an asshole. So I vowed to stop taking it. I usually handle stress better than this. I’m also not one to really fight.

So…I will continue to deal with the concentration issues to keep the anger at bay. In the meantime, I will continue soul searching to try to figure out my relationship and whether I need to move on or not. I just hate being alone.

7 thoughts on “Medication Overload

  1. A tough situation for you. Feel comforted and try other relaxation habits to calm your mind such as brisk walks especially in nature and maybe some minutes of meditation, stretching, deep breathing and select podcasts also work well. The deeper we dig within ourselves the more we find ourselves and eventually the calmness on the inside reflects on the outside. Wishing you peace and wellness

    Liked by 2 people

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