What the heck?

So I was in a mental hospital last year because a medication I had started taking made me suicidal. Yeah, it wasn’t pretty. My then boyfriend pretty much ditched me because of it; it made the whole situation *that* much worse. I made a couple of friends in there and there are two girls that I still talk to here and there. Please note that not all people in certain hospitals are “bad”. Some of them just make mistakes, similar to people in prison. Consequences can be tough sometimes. Anyhow, one of the guys there seemed to be interested in me and we would have long conversations. Keep in mind that I was in limbo with the boyfriend and in the hospital so I was not in a position for anything other than friendship. I left him my number and that was that. I didn’t hear from him….until today. Almost exactly a year later he left a voicemail on my phone wanting to connect with me. But guess what? I am seeing Steven and there is potential there for something greater. I will chat with the disappearing man but it will not go further, aside from the whole “we met in a mental hospital” thing.

Steven spent the night with me on Saturday and slept with me all night, holding me. I realize to the majority of people this is common but he works PM shift so he usually sleeps when I am at work. The fact that he somehow made that happen spoke volumes to me. I did tell him that I thought I was starting to develop feelings for him. I think I spooked him. I told him I will keep the “feels” in check and we agreed to continue slow and steady. This is how it should be with any relationship. I’m not saying or feeling like I am falling in love with the guy, just that after sharing the intimacy of sex together and great communication, I care about him. He has a lot of qualities that I desire in a man so I will continue on down the Steven road. Who knows where it will end?

Last night I broke down and had some cookies. Of course I felt terribly guilty afterwards and still feel so. I’m not supposed to have any carbs right now :/ On the bright side, surgery is still on for Monday and I am excited! I’m only a little nervous. I’m surprisingly not having much issues with the protein only diet. Maybe because it’s temporary for now?

Until next time…have a great day or night, as the case sometimes turns out to be.

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